05 août 2005


I am slowly, after 3 weeks here, getting accustomed to the place, the people but dread still fills my heart....I am not as outgoing as I thought myself capable of...This journey is just starting and at times I can see myself already giving up because it's too hard, I'm tired, I don't feel like making the effort. I wonder how I would be if I could spin around in an euphoria wave most days., I precise most days as it is not realistic.

It is a weird feeling to have to make your own plans and arrangements by yourself, catter only for yourself yet share a house with a family. I realise then how lucky I am to have a partner to share things with and how I miss him. However, I am as some of you would say easily influenced by others so it is a good thing to be on my own for a while. Yet, I am faced with an inertia which I have had the desire to shake for years and haven't by lack of goodwill and possibly lazyness. As  I was standing in my Boss office I saw a pile of books, very readable, very knowledgable and I considered the option of borrowing them...simply reflected on it...mulled over it...

I am standing at a crossroad in my life... many of us are...I need to nudge myself forward not stagnate...moving places doesn't take away the knots, spiderwebs and inner inertia that lies within oneself...Finding a fixed idea,a project, a goal is the key...

Posté par waterbaby à 23:55 - - Commentaires [3] - Permalien [#]

Commentaires sur Lonesome'cowgirl

  • Hey lonesome cowgirl - don't forget that we're just a few hours away by plane down here in California. Come anytime you need to. Sarah needs someone to watch more anime with and we'd love to have you. Hang in there.

    Posté par Cousin Anne, 10 août 2005 à 21:18 | | Répondre
  • Feelin' better. Thanks I would have loved to but the administration is against me. 90 days that's all I get...We'll come and visit you soon as California is on my top 10 list of places to go to before I turn 30, GRIN...and so far my experience of the States makes me want to possibly look for work here after Germany. When you go back to norway let us know though..
    BISOUS pour Sarah

    Posté par Estelle, 11 août 2005 à 09:08 | | Répondre
  • Courage

    Tu sais Estelle, si tu veux dvancer ton retour de quelques jours, n'hésite surtout pas. Cela me ferait très très plaisir de te recevoir plus que une journée pou ton retour.

    je te soutiens dans ce que tu fais, ce n'est pas facile, cela demande du cran et je sais que tu l'as.

    Donc voilà, je sais que tu vas mieux mais sache que l'option est plus que possible!! En plus l'appartement est impatient de te voir!!


    Posté par Sophie, 23 août 2005 à 18:55 | | Répondre
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