02 avril 2006

Topi land

Topi means red-neck and it's the nickname of that German region we live in. We learned that yesterday. Kinda like Soldotna basically.

I dreamed of Alaska last night. It was a vivid dream and I was pregnant.Really out of place. The woods and mountains, me living on the boat (no trace of espen), the ice breaking in the background, silence, peace, diving (with a giant belly) in the sea. I lived simply, I had lovers, I was alone. I woke up with a smile (me pregnant smiling, that would be a first), relaxed, joy pouring out, the closeness to nature still at heart, then truth dawned on me and relief undermined by pain of losing it all (not the belly, the rest) intertwinned. My sub-conscience is playing tricks with my mind, could be due to that job appointment I have on tuesday with a german university. I invited myself into that doctorate's office and hope I can go back toward the scientific academia, be the assistant, the lab-rat. I keep asking myself why? Well I am losing my capacity for disserting and explaining science clearly, I want to regain that and use it toward educationnal value in my documentaries. Keep that science aspect and build my art on it. Sounds strange, well the concept still is to me....Mind...confused...Need to use my brain in a constructive way...

Posté par waterbaby à 20:59 - - Commentaires [2] - Permalien [#]


Commentaires sur Topi land

    It grows on you-Alaska

    It still on your mind is it? Your presence certainly was appreciated while you were here, even though I didn't get to know you all that well. Alaska felt like home as soon as I stepped off the plane 22 years ago. It'll be here if you come back.

    Posté par Eric, 08 avril 2006 à 00:36 | | Répondre
  • It is ALWAYS on my mind. I had one of those experiences you cannot forget, simply. I am sure life will bring me back there soon enough now that We have the boat, sailing up the Alaskan coastline oneday. Size it for me while I am away

    Posté par Waterbaby, 13 avril 2006 à 13:08 | | Répondre
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