Pong...

Il est des matins ou je me reveille encore bercee par les reves de la nuit precedente, ils virevoltent tendrement et se posent sur mon epaule proche tout en etant lointain, une vague qui disparait des que mes yeux s'ouvrent, bribes intarissables. Ces reves sont de plus en plus realistes, ils integrent un niveau de conscience, melant mes actions passes a mes actions futurs et  mes desirs profonds. Il faut absolument que j'en prenne note... Ce retour en Norvege est le debut d'un edifice que je m'efforce de construire. Je ne sais pas ou je me situe par rapport a la question fondamentale: "Pourquoi sommes nous sur terre? quel est notre but supreme", la realite societaire me parait discontinu, un fil que j'ai coupe et qui me laisse en proie a une recherche existentielle incessante. La peur est presente, je me retire en moi pour comprendre. rester ici jusqu'au 22 septembre, seule par choix, pour mediter, me relaxer, marcher dans les bois, penser et enfin revenir face au monde, doucement mais surement sans me perdre. merci geant vert pour ta patience, merci.

There is mornings when I wake up and the previous night's dream rock me, they sway tenderly and land on my shoulder so close yet already shivering afar, disappearing wave as soon as my eyes open, unending mystery. Those dreams are becoming more and more realistic, integrating a level of consciousness mixing passed and potential actions and undermined by my deepest desires. I must take note of them..... Being back in Norway is a stepping stone on my path. I am at a loss regarding why I am here on this earth;what is my aim? and what society consider valid, realistic, important, makes me puke litterally. I do not want to fit their standards. I disregard it, yet cannot find my own tidings, too scared, fear envelopping my heart in a cold cast iron chain, so I withdraw inside myself, away from all. Staying here until the 22 of september, one month to focus on meditation, relaxation, going out into the woods, swim in the ocean, snorkel, partice my video skills, express joy, simply be and let go before heading back into the craze of London, then Southampton and finally Germany. Alone but not lonely... projects laying ahead that matters to me, not caring for judgement...a master plan...thanx you my giant for understanding, thank you so much.

Comments

[Teela]

I too don't know why I'm here, it's an isolating feeling. But I have a strong suspicion I'm here for a good reason. I just don't want my concious self to know what it is yet. The time for action isn't right. Western societies assumptions/story/expectations are insane, we see this, but many people still need to notice. And have their observation of the insanity confirmed to make it real for them. Perhaps thats what were here to do. Be beacons, lighthouses, on this treachouous path to a new reality. Hang in there.